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• Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
• Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
• Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
• Ego Surfing: Scanning the Net, databases, print media and so on, looking for references to one's own name.
• Elvis Year: The peak year of something's or someone's popularity. "Barney the Dinosaur's Elvis year was 1993."
• 404: Someone who's clueless. "Don't bother asking him; he's 404." From the WWW error message "404 Not Found," meaning the requested document couldn't be located.
• Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
• Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
• Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
• Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake.
• Perot: To quit unexpectedly, as in "My cellular phone just perot'ed."
• Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
• SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
• Squirt the Bird: To transmit a signal to a satellite.
• Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in a divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
• Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
• Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
• Tourists: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
• Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
• Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
• Going Postal: Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.
• Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
• Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
• Beepilepsy - The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes off (especially in vibrator mode). Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions and interruption of speech in mid-sentence.
• Chips and Salsa - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
• Crapplet - A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
• Dancing Baloney - Little animated GIFs and other Web F/X that are useless and serve simply to impress clients. "This page is kinda dull. Maybe a little dancing baloney will help."
• Depotphobia - Fear associated with entering a Home Depot because of how much money one might spend. Web enthusiasts might experience Amazon.comophobia!
• Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
• Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is. "We were so lost in generica, I actually forgot what city we were in."
• GOOD Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
• Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
• Midair Passenger Exchange - Grim air-traffic-controller-speak for a head-on collision. Midair passenger exchanges are quickly followed by "aluminum rain."
• Nyetscape - Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.
• PEBCAK - Tech support shorthand for "Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard." (Techies are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They've submitted numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless users who call them up with frighteningly stupid questions. Another variation on the above is...
• ID10T: "This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his system.")
• Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
• Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.
• Square-headed Girlfriend - Another word for a computer. The victim of a square-headed girlfriend is a "computer widow."
• Telephone-Number Salary - A salary (or project budget) that has seven digits.
• Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing. "This is uh... Cindy, my... um... friend..."
• Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice-president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
• Vulcan Nerve Pinch - The taxing hand position required to reach all of the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm boot.