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Ali G's Driving
Tips
- Tip 1 - Make sure your car is safe.You is gonna lose marks if ya car is
a wreck. May I suggest you get an MOT first (Me mate Dave will sell ya one
for £20 - Just tell i'm Ali said). Also, make sure all 8 of ya speakers is
workin' at there best (be carefull that the clutch pedel don't damage that
20" bass bin). Tinted windows and UV lights may also win you marks wid the
instructer.
- Tip 2 - Make sure its safe for you to drive. Its a well known fact that
if you is a woman (thats 1 in 2 people in the UK), you will not be able to
drive. Batty men shouldn't drive either.
- Tip 3 - Drinking and Driving.You should never drink drive (not even if its
rainin'). You could'it a bump an' spill ya drink - Aye. No, me is messin',
don't do it.
- Tip 4 - Listen for your Instructer. If you can hear your instructer shouting
at you, then your music aint loud enough you is probably listening to the
wrong music, may I suggest Drum and Bass or Rap.
- Tip 5 - Use the proper equipment. When your instructer asks you to start
the car, remember that you is supposed to use the proper key, not a screwdriver.
- Tip 6 - Changing Gears. This is an important part of drivin' and I hope
you is payin' attention.There are two main gears you will use, thats 4 and
5. I suggest using 5th in residental areas, and 4th if you is driving on a
field orsomthin'.
- Tip 7 - Breaking and Corners. Breaking and corners 'ave alot in common.
You need to be usin' the handbreak for both.
- Tip 8 - Correct Signaling. Remember that the horn and headlights aint just
for gettin' the attention of that bitch wid the short skirt. They is best
used to cuss at other drivers if they is goin' too slow (ie 90 mph).
- Tip 9 - Advanced warning signs and Speed limits.I aint sure what these things
are. You can make about #30 stealing them though. AYE!
- Tip 10 - Dat's it, you is now a safe driver. You will be able to spend hours
sat in the carpark at MFI wid da Drum and Bass pumpin out. Wicked!
